Wednesday 2 February 2000

Flopping hell

Scared. Confused. My life has flip-flopped. Things I always found painful before are now perfect. And yet I am finding myself unsure about what was previous the most stable thing in my life. I can't really talk about it here. Luckily I have a pair of ears. She is not around at the minute though. I miss her. Every second we are apart. Not that we are ever truly together, but the hours of the afternoon stretch out. Even submerging myself in work doesn't help. Not that I got much work done this afternoon due to an OS reinstall. Finally got fed up of the constant waiting in Windows. 128Mb of RAM in my PC at work, yet it still ran like lump the no-legged dog (see and resizing my Win98 partition took hours - during which time I had to work on someone else's machine, and then the Linux install took an age because the bloody install floppies were corrupt - meaning installing drivers for the wrong kernel version to allow an NFS install. Wheefunyay. Still all is not bad. The machine is nearly ready now. Bugger - I just remembered that I'm at an offsite meeting tomorrow - I won't be able to finish installing until Friday :( And even worse - a whole morning without ICQ :( :( Badbadbad. Should be a fairly interesting meeting. As long as it's not all marketing bullshit. Which I have a sneaking suspicion most of it will be. Need to think cheery thoughts. 4 weeks. Happy for 4 whole weeks and there are no signs of that changing. My heart soars constantly. Dizzy with the unfamiliarity of it. My head spins now. Thinking of her does this to me. Dan and Crazy Jo are official at last. And he is being teased mercilessly - just as he showed no mercy in his teasing of me. I am very uncomfortable typing now - someone has sat next to me and I have no elbow room. Keep hitting the wrong keys because I can't get my hands at the right angle. Still have a cramp in my leg - I woke up at about 4-5 am this morning with a bastard of a cramp in my lower leg - felt like someone was driving a red hot poker into the muscle. It had eased by the time I woke up for real at 6:15 (was on the verge of turning over and going back to sleep when I got an SMS from Charlotte telling me to log on and check my email) - didn't remember until I got to the corner of the street when the muscle started to complain about the movement. I hate that. Why are my muscles giving up? It must be the over tiredness I guess. Not really a lot I can do about it though. Staying up for good reason. Sleeping at weekends. I need to post Charlotte's present in the next couple of days... Grin. Corny present, cute present, useful presents, fun presents. A little bit of every thing :) Not sure if this keyboard is such a good idea - wrist acheing. As if I need another ache... Heartache is enough for me - don't need all these other aches to go along with it :( 7am in Sydney. I'll be home before she gets to work so I can write her an email after all. Damn PC being out of action all afternoon was a pain - worth it though. I must have wasted days worth of working time over the past couple of months waiting for my damn machine to respond. So slow. And it happened so quickly too. Wish I could run Norton on my PC at work - keeps my PC at home in check - I bed it'd speed things up no end. Wouldn't have taken half as long to run speeddisk as it did for running defrag either... But defrag is free and Norton isn't. Take care of the pennies and the pounds look after themselves. Is that really the best practice? OK, nearly back so I'd better stop. 90 mins or so until my baby is around. 90 mins to kill