Tuesday 21 September 1999

Imping phalua coars nularion ssement.

meta-date: Tue Sep 21 06:37:00 1999

Sore throat, but no cough today. Should probably take another day off because I still feel like shit. I don't think I could take another day of lonely boredom though. I sit here missing something I have never had, something I can never have - partly because I want it too much - no-one likes the stink of desperation. That's not the only reason of course - the fact that I am insane, that I am fat, that I am apathetic, that I have no social skills and mostly just the fact that I am me. People like me only find love in films. In real life, by the time someone has broken through the frozen veneer and seen the person within, one of three things has happened - they have grown to fear me, they have grown to hate me or they are indifferent towards me.