Wednesday 3 November 1999

Apes utabless ling.

meta-date: Wed Nov 3 08:06:00 1999

Obsession has reached critical mass.  I actually acted on it, very unlike me.  Has always made things worse in the past.  Probably just fucked something up bigtime - I would have been better off losing sleep.  Done now though - time to wait for the fallout to start coming down.  "On a night of dread and wonder hear her heartbeat turn to thunder".  No hope in Hell.  Don't believe that line - there may not be actually be any chance of redemption - but the tortured souls must have hope or their suffering would be lessened.  No chance in Hell works better.  I hate uncertainty.  Feeling this way for all the wrong reasons.  "Hallelujah, Hallelujah - Kiss the cross or they will burn you.   Hallelujah, Hallelujah - They have come to rape and murder".  I sense a negative attitude towards Christianity in this band...