Welcome to thy judgement day. Need to rid myself of the stench of desperation. Still Naked, Still Alone - but no longer shivering - progress. Desperation stems from unfulfilled hopes, but without hope there is no motivation. I half believe that the relaxing influence of alcohol will mask the desperation, but therein lies madness. Going shopping soon. Lose myself in spending. Except there isn't much that I want at the moment - just an exceptionally fucking huge TV which I can't afford without saving up for a few months. Vortex is back. I fear the future.
Thursday 4 November 1999
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