Moon is definitely on the wane. Quite good night. Beer - mexican (food, cocktails, tequila) - more beer. Andy goes leaving a half - Aha! Think I. I pour it into my glass. I guess I'm on snakebite now. Bugger - I forgot Andy was on cider tonight. Misery wrapped in an enema. Or mystery wrapped in an enigma. Something or other. Nobody likes me, everybody hates me - I think I'll go and eat worms. It's been a while since the last major Friday night. About 3 weeks I think. Last week was just me and Matt Evans talking crap deep into the night - the week before I left early because I was depressed. I am oblivlon seeking again. Anything to take my mind off of a week on Friday. Billed to be the biggest fall I've taken in a long time. I am the antethesis of everyone on match.com that sounds interesting - have never recieved a single reply from an email I have sent. My website kills every mail initiated by a third party. Constant rejection. If I can't manage anything via email then I what chance have I in real life? Barmaid in the Auctioneer that I have never seen before. Like Alyson Hannigan with mousy hair instead of flame red. Gorgeous. Train is just outside the station. Why are there delays at this time of the evening? There is hardly anyone on any of these trains. Train after train pushes in front - mine was on the board about 3 trains ago - but hasn't come back since. 4 trains have jumped past it - all going to CX. Next one. Constantly jealous. What does he have that I haven't? A life. A personality. A face that doesn't look like an arse. I am shit. There is nothing I can offer that thousands of others can't. I am as unique as a five pence coin. Time to change the disc. Too fucked up to care any more. Fuck it all. Longing for nothing. I can tell people want me turn my stereo down, but I'm not going to. I'm ready to get on with the rest of my life. Where the fuck are you? Amusing Sony advert - get back at the people with annoying personal stereos by getting a better one. Main reason I can't be arsed with an mp3 player is that I have over 300 CDs to choose from with zero effort - with an mp3 player I would need to arse about in a big way when I wanted to change tracks. Wretched.
Wednesday, 24 November 1999
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