Crammed again. Am I really down at the moment or just putting on a show? I am actually not that down at heart, but I'm afraid to admit that - even to myself. Admitting that implies a reason - there is no concrete reason and I don't want to build any of the fantasy reasons any higher than they already are. Splish. Splash. Sphinx. Sweating. Will make the cold worse when I get out. What a convoluted dance I weave. Never reaching the point. Don't even know what or where the point is.
Wednesday, 24 November 1999
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