I am so fucking paranoid. Walking back from the station for the last couple of hundred yards I was aware of a couple of girls behind me - mainly due to the clicking of their heels and the inane schoolgirl chatter. Just before I get to my house they start whistling - and my paranoia immediately tells me that that they are taking the piss out of me. It has happened before and I have been right - but that doesn't justify such a snap judgement. Second point before I go to bed is about the nature of my job. I am a Systems Administrator. That does not make me a god - but it does mean that I am expected to do the impossible. That is what the job is about - performing gigantic tasks and getting little to no recognition because if you do it right then no-one should notice. If you're in it for the respect of others then you are in the wrong job. The only satisfaction comes from doing the job right and knowing how much you have achieved. A second job related rant is about overtime. It is not there so that you can get extra money because you're a bit short - it's a company's way of recognising that the requirements of the job are not always convenient. "we need you to do something - sorry, we know it's put you out - have something to show we appreciate the effort". All seems like common sense to me - but then I'm fucked in the head, so what would I know. I'm also a manager and therefore I am evil by definition - one of the faceless "They".
Tuesday, 26 October 1999
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