Still no words - to staunch the internal flow of nothing I write anything. It isn't working. I need something. I have nothing. I want everything. I want anything. This used to help me get my feelings out - to stop me bottling things up inside - but it isn't working now. I don't even know what it is I am bottling up - I just feel the turmoil within and don't know what to do. A wrongness pervades all. Nothing tangible. Just everything. I give up.
Monday, 25 October 1999
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