Is there any hope? I have had a couple of vague hints that maybe there is. Not from anyone in a position to be definitive - and I've never been any good with hints anyway. In a logic bound system I can diagnose from hints pretty well - but that doesn't extend to human beings. Single track repeat again. "I've been so alone for so long, forgot how much it hurts to wake up so alone" - Exactly how the dream made me feel yesterday. On waking I had a moment where I felt whole - a split second before it all came crashing down - and it pointed out how hollow I am on a day to day basis.
Wednesday, 20 October 1999
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