Tuesday 19 October 1999

Promotors beashrop mulateal spirablema.

meta-date: Tue Oct 19 23:11:00 1999

Missing something I have never had. Waking up beside you by Stabbing Westward on endless repeat. The perfect song for how I feel at the moment. Perfect match - not perfect remedy. I miss, god I miss, waking up beside you. Never happened - and yet I miss it. Miss the warmth of a tight embrace. Only experience of which is hugging a pillow or blanket. Something that I will have to be content with tonight. Reading all the wrong signs. Dreaming the impossible dream. It hurts. But I endure. Sucker for punishment. There is an easier way, but I refuse it. I could close my eyes and it could all go away - but I don't want to end it before it has begun. Even though it will never begin. Why?