So much bottled up inside. I can feel the pressure building - but the words won't come so I can't let it out. Sitting here waiting for the train to pull out. NIN providing the noise. An argument going on elsewhere in the carriage - can't make out the words - but can feel the intent. Empty inside - what can I use to fill? Mind blank. Train moves off. Emotion in motion. I hate rhymes - yet I use them anyway. Difficult to hold my coffee and my Palm at the same time. What is the opposite of an activist? A passivist? Nothing means anything anymore. I physically can't believe in anything - especially myself. Paths to the perfect future thinning whenever I make a wrong choice. Many worlds theory implies there an almost infinite number of me out there in the multiverse that are happy. Doesn't help this particular me though.
Monday 25 October 1999
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