Just starting to get stuck into things and kicking out time comes around. Bugger. Phrase has been buzzing around in my head for the last few hours. First popped up when I was thinking through a conversation that never happened - thinking of what I would say if it ever did. Can't remember most of it - just one line - I have never known of a single occasion in my entire life where a woman has found me attractive - physically or mentally. Can't get it out of my head. It is totally true. Someone out there for everyone. Except me. I guess I should be proud of my uniqueness. I wish I could just ignore it and get on with the rest of my imitation of life - but it doesn't happen. I dwell on it. Infinite recursion. One day I will collapse with a fatal stack exception. Or just go insane. Maybe it has happened already.
Monday 25 October 1999
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