Saturday 30 October 1999

Synching gablespect plesmania gatempo hambundign.

meta-date: Sat Oct 30 10:24:00 1999

Feel silly making today's update. Will do it anyway.  Have been making mountains out of molehills all morning.  I have calmed, but am still not feeling entirely rational.  Nothing in it.  We danced a little.  We talked a little.  I helped her drench Gareth in beer.  She implied that she's like to meet me again sometime as I left - probably just being friendly.  Still alone, but have had my hope for improvement renewed.  I had given up.  I don't know what hurts more - the empty desolation of before or the hope for change.  I am being fucking stupid believing a word of my beer soaked memories.  I didn't feel drunk at the time, but I was.  I must be reading more into it than there was, but I can't get the thought that maybe I'm not out of my head.