I'm back to the stage where seeing beautiful people hurts. Especially seeing beautiful people held close by other beautiful people. Mid morning and there are still no seats - when will they sort the trains out. Never probably. Just build more roads - it's easier. Some smoother tracks would be nice too. Or computer controlled suspension - they can do it to give cars a smoother ride - why not trains? Need to change the CD - a bugger to do while standing and the train is shaking all over the place. Wedge my knee up against the back of a seat so that I get stability without losing a hand. Tricks of the trade. Am I still a journeyman commuter or have I progressed to master? Can't read a broadsheet newspaper on a crowded train, so I guess I don't qualify for master. Don't really want to read a newspaper on the train - I know the world is fucked - I don't need to be told - and I don't particularly want to know the details. I was going to say that I was quite happy in my secular little world, but happy wouldn't be the right word. Nor would content. Or satisfied. The only good thing about my life is that I feel safe. Not sure what scares me more - change or lack thereof. Necks crane for a look a the millennium wheel. Why? It's all a pile of shit. Time for another coffee. The only vice I want to pursue that I am able to pursue. Want to just lose myself in a book - but my mind won't let me. Whirlpool.
Monday, 25 October 1999
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