Obsessive - as usual. I am just impulses and obsessions. Product of a
throw away society. Very few things I do can hold my attention indefinitely - I always get
distracted and move on to something else - or the apathy gets to me and I just give up.
Zero attention span. I tell a lie - there is one thing I never tire of - moaning. I can
moan about how shit I think my life is until the cows come home. Trains are shit. Life is
shit. I hate. Damn you all to Hades! Fuck it all. MoooOO! My cue to stop. Not finished yet
though. Not enough coffee yet this morning - one more should set me up for a while. Just
one more fix - I can stop at any time, I just don't feel like it. Addictions: caffiene -
alcohol - everquest - moaning - spending. A genetically conditioned addiction to
companionship - I have never really tasted it - yet I cannot think of anything else for
long before my attention springs back to it. I need to be more careful about charging my
discman batteries - it tends to skip when they are low. Phonebank is no longer a freephone
service - it's LoCall - which means it doesn't even get included in my free minutes by
Orange. Arse. They have an national rate number though - not as good as freephone - but
better than nowt. At least that one is included in my minutes. Tantrum. I am like a little
kid throwing a tantrum about a percieved unfairness. Newsflash. Life isn't fair - accept
it and move on.
Thursday, 7 October 1999
Hargerm witters chooscism ges.
meta-date: Thu Oct 7 07:00:00 1999
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