Wednesday 13 October 1999

Resss martinian wonturio hureliger.

meta-date: Wed Oct 13 17:53:00 1999

Burn, motherfucker, burn. Negative bleed. Feed the negativity - nurture it until it has a will of it's own. Discomfort caused by my proximity. I will never know close. Never feel closure. Always empty. How do I know emptiness when I have never known completion? For all I know they hurt lust as much as each other. I would bet one is a nicer pain than the other though. A better question is why do I wish for change but take no action to initiate it? Horse. Nasal intercourse. Macintosh. Carp. Bollocks. The lights shine on me but my darkness will take more than sodium emissions to dissipate. Online. Grass is greener or the devil you know. Which is you? Guesswork leads to answers - it's the world that's wrong - never me. No-one gets out of here alive. Abide ye and bear witness. Kladdath ymor jakalt. Guardrobe. Closer. Comb-over. The razor never shaves close enough. Puncture and drink deeply. Known. Dog house. A good place to be - someone cares. Walking on gravel in the dead of night. Cool moss grows on the grave. Stone comfort. Solo. The red light shines on. Forgotten. Never forgiven. Walls close in. Nothing to fear when there is nothing to lose. Known, believed, ignored. Home again, home again, jiggety jig. Jack once was hungry and butchered a pig. Dance like the dead. Flake. Shadowed men in a ring. The rhino at midnight. Violins and drums. I care not. Disregard the things you have and covet those you do not. My formula for life. I am fucked up.