I ache physically today. I woke up with a hideous cramp in my leg - it still feels stiff now. My neck aches as well. I feel like curling up in a ball and waiting for death. I would be no more lonely, and wouldn't have to put up with the constant clutching at straws that I find myself doing after the most mundane issues. That probably doesn't make sense, but I know what I mean...
Friday 20 August 1999
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