Relaxing. It's been a looong time since I walked across central London at night while sober. It loses a lot when you are drunk. During the day the city is too crowded - it's like an infestation, some kind of plague. At night that is different - there is enough life that you always know you are not alone, but not enough that your personal space is constantly violated. A time for contemplation. Got the direction wrong and ended up hitting the main road nearer Euston than Kings Cross. Started daydreaming at the end. Sentimental slush - bump into someone I know (the who changes several times during the walk) going in the same direction - she's cold - I lend her my coat and we walk with our arms around each other's shoulders. We arrive at the station, kiss briefly and then part. That's as far as it goes. I wish something like that could happen in real life, but even if I had met someone I would probably have offered my coat, but the arms around the shoulders and kiss would never have happened. Sitting between two touchy-feely couples - just what I don't need. The train will be here soon. More couples on the train. Talking about inconsequential things. I will listen to music - it's less depressing. Back in my own little world. Pain greets me with open arms. Welcome home.
Monday, 23 August 1999
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