I am a tactile person. I don't like passing by behind glass - I like to be down in the dirt - I like to touch and smell the landscape, to taste and hear it - reducing it to vision only butchers the experience. I'm going to go out for a long walk when I get back - I haven't done that for a while - I'll take shoes with me, unlike the times I did the communing with nature thing in Southampton. It was an interesting experience - but digging the glass out of my feet afterwards was a real drag. I may end up paying a visit to the graveyard at the head end of town - there's nothing quite as relaxing as a graveyard at night. I fear me so badly. I think I'll watch the Wicker Man when I get back - I love that film - while I don't agree with human sacrifice I get a real kick from the pagans triumphing in the end - not falling under the iron boot of Christianity (also Edward Woodward is burnt to death at the end - any film where that happens has got to be an instant classic). Why do I publish this? I keep finding myself wanting to censor where I repeat myself - because other people won't want to hear the same thing over and over again. That wasn't the reason for starting this - the idea was to rant to the world to get all of the bottled up shit inside out into the open, so it doesn't just fester internally. The idea of censoring in order to keep the reader interested is antithesis - I certainly don't want to upset the regular reader (I work with most of the regulars, so it would be a little silly to alienate myself from them) but I also don't particularly want to pander to them. If I don't get the repetition down then it is going to fester and only the first mention of any topic will actually be of any use to me. At the end of the day I am doing this for selfish reasons.
Sunday, 22 August 1999
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