Mind away from the job again - I just missed my train while daydreaming - and I don't even care. I noticed that it was my train with enough time to run for it - but I couldn't be bothered. Thoughts centred on fantasy that could become reality if it wasn't for my lack of confidence. I hate the games we play. I admire honesty and expect it from others - I can never quite bring myself to practice what I preach - I will always answer honestly if asked a direct question, but I am only able to follow - never to start things off. What if there was someone right for me, who was like me in this respect - my fear of rejection could cost me my only chance for acceptance. Sounds about right. Peachy. Time for the next train - I will get this one.
Tuesday 17 August 1999
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