Tuesday 3 August 1999


Why do people constantly imitate others?  I may not be the most innovative of people, but at least when I do something unoriginal it is because I am acting onunprovoked impulse - not because I have seen someone else do something and feel that I have to out do them.

The air is clear tonight - I may actually be able to sleep through without waking up tangled in sweat soaked sheets.

Another couple of hits from match.com today - I wonder if they'll reply after reading this or if they'll quietly disappear... No emails from Erin for about a week - I guess she's finally had enough of me.  No matter - my email conversation with her really helped me to open up.  If only I can follow through in RL.  Would have been nice to talk to her some more though :(

I need to bring "River of Blue Fire" into work tomorrow because Matt wants to borrow it (just a note to remind myself when I transfer this entry to the web when I get home)

The computer displays in rail stations are great.  According to the boards my train will be second on this platform, and will be arriving a minute before the train in front of it.  Time travelling trains would be cool - I could get home before I leave.   I would never have times for these ramblings though - probably a service to mankind, but it would deprive me of an emotional outlet and I would go back to bottling it all up inside.  Ah, an announcement to say my train is 6 minutes late, that's more like it.

What would I do if I had an extra two and a half hours a day by cutting the travel out?   I'd probably spend the time working, or watching utter crap on TV.  I'd probably play large amounts of EverQuest - at least that contains an element of socialising (if played at the right time - otherwise it's safer to play solo to avoid the kewlios)

Why is it that I still like so much stuff that most people grow out of?  I read comics, I read high fantasy novels, I would love to start playing pen & paper RPGs again, I listen to Heavy Metal music (the phrase isn't exactly right, and has a ton of negative connotations - but I still like it)  An explanation I have thought of in the past and find quite amusing is that maybe it's a hormone thing and because I am still a virgin I still have a teenage body chemistry.  It's amazing the sort of pseudo scientific bullshit that you come up with when you have too much time on your hands.

I really like Switchblade Symphony - I have only had this CD (Bread & Jam for Frances) for 4 days and must have listened to it at least 20 times, that's nearly 3 hours per day spent listening to it.  Her voice is amazing - I can't believe that there is a line in one of the songs "I don't sound good" - umm, excuse me?  Who the f*ck could possibly think that?

I changed my email signature again today - only on my personal account though - the work address is still using a quote from Temple of Love by Sisters of Mercy.  The new quote is from the Jack off Jill track Devil with a Black Dress on - "Do you wanna hurt me angel, 'cause I'm hurting now you're gone" - I love that track.

I love writing this down as stream of consciousness - it's fun to go back and think "Wow, do my thoughts really flit about like that?".  In reality they flit about even more - but the text recognition on my Palm can't keep up - I have a half dozen thoughts while I'm trying to finish a sentence.  The constant shaking of the train doesn't help either - I have to go back to correct the mistakes, otherwise I wouldn't know what the hell I had written.

St Albans coming up... I'd better sign off...  TTFN