Tuesday 10 August 1999

Message in a Bottle

I received an email from Erin yesterday with the following quote:

you come off like people should or do view you as a freak or something along those lines but I think that you are quite real and normal

My reply was:

Thanks for the vote of confidence - I don't want to be the sort of person that provokes email responses such as this:

"I've just checked out your web site and you scare this angel - you should look elsewhere! Sorry!"

But apparently I am...  The overall response from people I know about the online diary I have been keeping has been good, but everyone that responded to my trial of match.com took one look at my site and didn't come back, except for you of course ;)

The only people I have met at clubs who seem interested in any form of relationship have been men, and I'm not interested in experimenting in that direction...  Most girls I have approached have either ignored me or walked away.  Although I find it difficult to approach someone without a few drinks inside me, so this reaction is understandable - drunk, overweight guy with weird hair and a goatee approaching - I'll turn my back and hope he goes away. 

I don't know anyone else who left their teens without at least one serious relationship behind them - and here I am at 24 and have never even kissed a girl - surely there must be something wrong with me for that to happen...

I wish I could be this open in rl, whenever I try my stomach just ties up in knots :(

This is exactly how I feel, so I had to put it here...